How to nurture yourself when stressed
September feels like a new start, the summer is starting to fade, we start looking towards darker evenings where we can snuggle under a blanket on the sofa wearing our comfy clothes, and if you are like me look forward to the joy of soups, stews and slow cooked casseroles filling the house with evocative smells.
But September can also be a stressful time, with children going to school for the first time, and older children going to university. Whatever age your children are at, starting to loosen the apron strings is hard, getting your child ready for independence can be stressful
For working mums, this is also the time to start planning, planning for, dare I say it … Christmas. On the work schedule, this is the time for reflection, planning and goal setting. We are constantly moving forward, which can be good but can also be exhausting.
I'm here to say, give yourself a little time. Time to BREATH, time to just enjoy what you have achieved, what your children have achieved, and reflect on the summer.
Easier said than done, right? The shopping needs doing, the house needs cleaning, the dinner needs cooking, your boss is chasing you for that project, your children need help with homework, or are they at the age of needing relationship counselling, phew!
Lowering our stress response has health benefits, stress has been associated with
Allergies (environmental, food, chemical)
Anxiety
Apathy
Bone loss
Chronic fatigue
Craving salty foods
Decreased immunity
Depression
Early onset perimenopause/ menopause
Fatigue (especially in the morning or after a stressful event)
Hot flushes
Low blood pressure
Memory loss
Muscle wasting
Panic attacks
Poor concentration
Sleep disturbances (insomnia, waking up)
Weight loss
Weight gain around the midsection
Here is a fact that you may not know.
Your body’s reaction to stress is an ancient evolutionary response to give you the energy to make quick decisions so you can RUN AWAY…… Now in today's daily life we rarely have to run away from things that want to eat us… I'm assuming that's true for most of us!
Our body reacts the same whether we are sitting in traffic worried about being late or having argued with our husband/boss/ child, you can pick, or the internet has gone down again losing a morning's work.
We can also trigger the stress response by thinking about stressful events, so when we replay that argument over and over in our heads we create the exact same response equivalent to running away….
So while I can’t change life's ups and downs for you, I can’t make the M25 easier to drive around..Imagine if I could? I can give you some tips and advice for learning how to lower your stress
Number one
Learn to say no…. thank you
Are there any tasks that you can stop doing?
Do you have to be on the PTA at your child’s school? Do you have to bake your own birthday cakes? Do you have to volunteer at your local charity shop? Do you have to host a family lunch every Sunday? Would the world stop turning if you stopped? just for a little while?
Saying no thank you to things doesn’t make you a bad person, nor does it make you a failure because ‘so and so’ in your Facebook group has time for everything. We don’t actually know what goes on in other people's lives, so stop comparing yourself.
Concentrate on doing the things that add value to YOUR life. Those things that when you lay in bed at night make you smile and give you that warm fuzzy feeling.
Number two
If you know you have a busy day coming up, and you already feel stressed, start the day with a little self-love
Only have one cup of coffee. I’d like to say ditch the coffee but in reality, I couldn’t do that, so I don’t expect you to.
Caffeine stimulates cortisol which is a hormone that is produced when we are stressed. So by not stimulating cortisol with caffeine, we start the day with lower stress hormones.
Drinking non-caffeinated drinks during the day will help to keep cortisol levels lower. There are so many great alternatives, Red-bush tea or Pukka teas which have some lovely flavours, and the additional benefits of some of these teas, are the ingredients also soothe the gut, calm anxiety, and help us sleep.
I agree they can take getting used to, but if you never try them, how do you know you won’t like them?
Number 3
Sleep.
Repair and recovery during sleep offset the destructive effects of cortisol. Your body NEEDS you to sleep to get a chance for necessary repair and maintenance.
That includes your brain. During sleep, the body cleans away waste products of metabolism and cell debris. This process takes approx. 8 hours, so do not cut back on your sleep, even if you think that you don’t need it. You cannot make up for lost sleep, and a chronic sleep deficit significantly increases cortisol.
Have you forgotten how to sleep? There is so much information about how to sleep, that doing the right thing can seem like a minefield. My personal favourites are;
Read a real book in bed, no screens, The blue light from screens simulates daylight and keeps our brains awake.
Don’t drink alcohol too close to bedtime.
Be active if you can during the day.
Get comfortable, do you have a favourite blanket? Pamper yourself with the things you love
Dim the lights for at least one hour before you go to bed. Notice I didn’t say go to sleep. Prepare your brain for resting
Buy a sleep mask, and wear it
These are my favourites. Yes, you can try sleepy tea or nighttime yoga or a plethora of internet alternatives. Ask yourself, are the things you have to do to sleep, making you stressed?
Number 4
Routine…
My mum, bless her, loved a routine, up at 730am, breakfast by 8 am etc. When I was younger I couldn’t understand why she was so strict. But our bodies LOVE a routine, just like babies, our bodies prepare to get up and eat at the same time every day.
Following a daily routine, yes even at the weekend, lowers our cortisol levels, without trying anything else.
That was a quick one!
Last one.
Make time for yourself. It could be just 5 minutes every now and then throughout the day.
Spend that time sitting quietly away from screens and distractions.
Think about something that makes you very happy, Do you have a favourite book, film, or show? Do you have a favourite place in the world that makes you happy when you see the photos? Do you have a favourite person or pet?
Your brain can be trained to switch off, but it takes practice. You are not just going to sit on the loo one day at work after you’ve lost a morning work and be able to ‘see yourself in your happy place’ without practising getting into that happy place.
We use to call it daydreaming……. it will lower cortisol, it will give you a short break, and it will put a smile on your face.
There are more ways to reduce cortisol that we could explore but that is for another day.
I really hope you’ve enjoyed my blog, I have enjoyed writing it. I’d love your comments and feedback
As always if you would like a free 30-minute consultation with me please ring me, contact me through the website, or DM via Facebook
